It is Monday, January 22nd and I am finally sitting down to write for the first time in months. I stepped away following Thanksgiving to focus on family and the holidays with the intention of honoring the knowledge that when my focus gets to fractured nothing gets done the way I would wish for. It has taken me a long time to accept that I am not a multi-tasker. I can't keep all the balls in the air and feel good. I had every intention of returning to my writing practice with the changing of the year, but as happens with life, stuff happened. And... I didn't try to do it all. I prioritized what was most important and began communicating both with myself and those around me what my priorities were and the order they would be addressed. I was able to address and show up for the needs outside of me as well as those inside of me. Ifelt empowered and now I am feeling more in control and more able to follow my internal compass. I am ready for my new year to officially begin. My new blog routine will be to start writing on Monday and hopefully have some coherent thoughts and experiences to share and ready to post by Friday.
I love January! After the stress and activity of the holidays I always look forward to slowing down, reflecting and making adjustments based on the experiences and lessons of the previous year. Although January has yet to be slow, I still have been able to carve out some time for reflection and setting intentions for 2024. Last year was a continuation of the previous few years. I can see now that the move to Dallas at the end of 2020 brought tremendous change, more than I realized. I love our new life in Dallas but now can see that I have spent the last three years somewhat unsettled. Covid coupled with menopause, children graduating from college and moving on to graduate school in new locations was a lot more than I realized or acknowledged. Many things changed that I had no control over and honestly, did not fully understand the reverberations they caused in my day to day life. In general I am a happy person, love my life and am full of gratitude for the many gifts and privileges I have,but I have felt that something has been missing or off for sometime. I was searching for something and had no idea why or what I was looking for.
Last year instead of looking outside of me, I started to turn my focus inward. I attempted to take an honest assessment of who I am and found that I didn't really know who I was anymore. Everything in my life had changed and the labels I clung to for my purpose didn't quite fit anymore. If I am being totally transparent I didn't know who I was without them. I believe that the searching I had been doing for the last few years was my subconscious trying to prepare me for this great shift that was coming. The only problem was that my conscious mind never fully got or understood the message, so I was unprepared for what I found. I had lost who I was. For so long my choices and decisions were based on what I thought those around me needed or wanted, slowly without knowing I had lost myself. Now that I was trying to find out what I wanted and needed, I had no idea. I don't think I am alone in this. I think a number of women come to this stage in life and realize that somewhere along the way they lost their voice, their unique vibration in this world. The managing of home, career and family takes over and you stop growing as an individual. As I began to understand I decided to make make changes. I started prioritizing my health and learning about menopause and the many ways it can effect my mind and body. I purchased a strength training app to learn how to build muscle. I also purchased a glucose monitor and sought the help of a nutritionist to help me level up my nutrition. I addressed my neuro-divergent challenges and looked for strategies and support. I also returned to and prioritized things I knew made me feel better; journaling, yoga, meditation, spending time researching and sharing my interests.
This year I am prepared to take all that I learned last year and put it into action. I am excited and confident in a way I have not been in years. Each week I plan to share my thoughts, experiences and discoveries. I hope that I will be able connect and possibly help other women out there at any stage of life.
THIS WEEK I HAVE BEEN:
Reading
The Creative Act: A Way of Being, by Rick Rubin - My husband recommended this one to me when it came out and I was intrigued, but never got around to it. Our son bought me a copy for Christmas and I am thankful for that nudge to move it to the top of my reading list! It is written in short bursts of beautifully expressed ideas about creating anything. It is not just about art. It is about developing an approach your life, and living with a creative mindset. I read a few pages every morning when I am home and it sets an amazing tone for the day! I am loving it!
Wellness, by Nathan Hill - I had seen this book all over social media and decided to give it a go. I am about half way through and can see why so many people are talking about it. First let me let you know this is a whopper, 597 pages, so be prepared. Nathan Hill has created honest, interesting and complex characters. Jack and Elizabeth are a middle aged married couple that meet during college in Chicago. They have allowed life to happen and now find themselves unrecognizable. So far it has made me laugh and cringe a bit. I am guessing this will be one with all the feels.
Listening To
Fifth Avenue Glamour Glirl by Renee Rosen- I am listening to the audio book version. I was super excited for this book. Full disclosure, I was a Lauder girl back in the day. In college I was an Estee Lauder beauty advisor and an intern to the account executive . I went on to become a counter manager and an account coordinator after graduation. And... I thought Estée Lauder was the QUEEN! So far I have to be honest I am not loving it. First off, this is historical fiction, but Estee is not coming off so great to me. I always saw her as a force to be reckoned with, which I think she is being shown as, but she is also being portrayed to put money and fame above all, which I am not loving for personal reasons. I plan on finishing it and then maybe looking into an actual biography to see if my twenty year old fantasy of who she was is true or not. There is also some strange editing in my audio version that is off putting. If you are going to try this one out, I would go for the physical copy.
The Mel Robbin's Podcast- I started listening to this podcast last year. I am sure lots of people recommended it to me, but I have no idea how I started listening. I am just glad I did. Mel talks plainly and honestly about the her mental health and her stuggles. This week I want to share a link to her latest 2 episodes The Truth About ADHD in Adults and Reset Your Mental Health. As an adult with ADHD and anxiety I am always on the hunt on information and different approaches and opinions.
If you check any of these out let me know what you think! I would love to hear from you! If you would like to connect or start a conversation join the coffee clutch.
Have great weekend!
Comentários